Friday, February 10, 2006

American Civics Lesson Part II

What do you get when you a song titled "Asshole" and string together an array of pictures depicting America as it is today? Genius, pure genius. when you're done watching the film, try typing "miserable failure" into and hit the "I'm Feeling Lucky" button.

From the "Stupid Airline Passenger" Files....

So, imagine you're working the X-ray machine at the Fort Lauderdale-Hollywood International Airport, when you see what appears to be a skull in someone's luggage. Thden you realize the incoming flight is from Haiti.
Myrlene Severe, 30, a Haitian-born permanent U.S. resident, was charged Friday with smuggling a human head into the U.S. without proper documentation.
OK, not to mince semantics here, but is there proper documentaion for smuggling a human head?
"It still had teeth, hair and bits of skin and lots of dirt," Gonzalez said.

Severe told authorities she had obtained the package in Haiti for "use as a part of her voodoo beliefs," ICE Special Agent Erick Hernandez wrote in an affidavit in support of a criminal complaint.

"Severe also stated that the purpose of the package was to ward off evil spirits," Hernandez wrote.

Severe, who also was charged with failing to declare the head and transporting hazardous material in air commerce, faces a maximum of 15 years in prison if convicted of all charges, prosecutors said.
So, remember, kids, if you're bringing a recently exhumed human head into the country, fill out your documentation and Customs Declaration forms. Otherwise, you may find yourself in a world of voodoo doodoo.

What a Shock: Iraq Worse Off Now

From The New York Times yesterday as reported by James Glanz:

Iraq Utilities Are Falling Short of Prewar Performance
WASHINGTON, Feb. 8 — Virtually every measure of the performance of Iraq's oil, electricity, water and sewerage sectors has fallen below preinvasion values even though $16 billion of American taxpayer money has already been disbursed in the Iraq reconstruction program, several government witnesses said at a Senate Foreign Relations Committee hearing on Wednesday.

Of seven measures of public services performance presented at the committee hearing by the inspector general's office, only one was above preinvasion values.

Those that had slumped below those values were electrical generation capacity, hours of power available in a day in Baghdad, oil and heating oil production and the numbers of Iraqis with drinkable water and sewage service.

Only the hours of power available to Iraqis outside Baghdad had increased over prewar values.

Also published on February 9, and written by James Glanz:

Report Says Number of Attacks by Insurgents in Iraq Increases
WASHINGTON, Feb. 8 — Sweeping statistics on insurgent violence in Iraq that were declassified for a Senate hearing on Wednesday appear to portray a rebellion whose ability to mount attacks has steadily grown in the nearly three years since the invasion.

The statistics were included in a report written by Joseph A. Christoff, director of international affairs and trade at the Government Accountability Office, who testified before the Senate Foreign Affairs Committee during a hearing on Iraq stabilization and reconstruction.

Read the full version of the first story here, and the second here.

Yup. We're doing some fine work in Iraq. Couple these accounts with Haliburton missing billions of dollars and then please explain to Hellena exactly what the fuck we are doing over there.