Tuesday, February 07, 2006

Darwin Award Meritorious Live Act Award

OREM, Utah - An man who called police to report the theft of a quarter-pound of marijuana was arrested when police recovered the bag of pot and then invited him to come to the Public Safety Building to identify it.

"You!! Out of the gene pool now!!"

Oy vey. Thanks to The Tao of Cheese for posting this story - Hellena would have missed it otherwise.

Holy Totally Uncomfortable Situations, Batman!!

Hope the Preznit had his 12 hour deodorant on.....

Delusional Fucktard Fundies

(AP Photo/David Kohl)

Being a huge supporter of Freedom of Speech, Hellena finds herself having to temper her temper for this particularly foul group of fundaMENTALists. For years, Fred Phelps & his "church," Westover Baptist, has been picketing the funerals of gay men & women carrying signs with slogans like "God Hates Fags." More recently they have started picketing the funerals of servicemen and women killed in Iraq & Afghanistan because as Phelps attorney daughter, Shirley Phelps-Roper says, "the soldiers were struck down by God because they were fighting for a country that harbors homosexuals and adulterers."

Several states are now rushing to enact legislation to ban protests at funerals so loved ones may bury their dead in peace.

In response to that, Phelps-Roper states that lawmakers are "trying to introduce something that will make them feel better about the holes we're punching in the facade they live under. If they pass a law that gets in our way, they will be violating the Constitution, and we will sue them for that."

Um, okay.

Hey you unholy cunt, if there IS a Heaven, Hellena is pretty fucking sure you and your congregation won't ever get close to it.

Let's hope the legislation gets passed, and that other states follow suit before some bereaved friend or relative takes matters into their own hands.

Natural Selection at Work...

SHERIDAN, Colorado (AP) -- A couple planning to set off their own Super Bowl pyrotechnics accidentally blew up their own car while transporting a balloon filled with an explosive gas.

Norman Frey, 46, and his companion suffered busted eardrums in the explosion Sunday as they drove to a party for Super Bowl XL, according to the Arapahoe County sheriff.

The balloon had been filled with acetylene, a flammable gas used in welding, and it had rolled across the back seat, possibly causing static electricity that ignited the gas.

The explosion broke windows, bent doors outwards and pushed up the roof about a foot.

"Looking at the car closely, it's amazing that these people weren't killed," Sheriff Grayson Robinson said.

Please, oh please, let these 2 people be too old to breed.......